Dudley
Psychotherapist / Couples Therapist
My Approach
I’m Dudley, a Conversational Model psychotherapist working with individuals and couples. My work with clients is a collaboration: together, we become curious about you and your life, understanding how it is you experience yourself, your relationships, and the world around you.
The Conversational Model is a psychodynamic and psychoanalytic form of therapy, informed by attachment and trauma theory. This means that the relationship we develop becomes an important part of the work: a place where patterns of relating can be experienced, understood, and, over time, experienced differently. Conversational Model therapy understands that many of our difficulties develop within the context of relationships and experiences over time, and that meaningful change can come about through a safe, trusting and genuinely collaborative therapeutic relationship. This transformative experience that we create together is what I find so motivating about this therapy.
Sometimes, we can’t find the words to describe what is troubling us. Perhaps, we feel something emotionally or physically without quite knowing what it means, or we find ourselves repeating patterns we can’t seem to change. In our therapy, we explore these things we struggle to express and give them language: your history, your relational patterns, and your emotional life. It can be challenging to overturn some of the stones on our path, but together we do it safely and deliberately.
I believe therapy requires both holding and exploration. At times, we need relief: someone safe and trustworthy to share what feels difficult to carry alone. At other times, we need to venture more deeply into experiences that have been painful, confusing or difficult to approach. We can gently but intentionally explore these places together, at a pace we find between the two of us, to make lasting insight and change possible.
I’d be very glad to hear about what has brought you to therapy, and what you hope might be possible through us working together.
Areas of Interest
Identity and Sense of Self: Exploring questions of identity, authenticity and belonging. Who am I? How do I relate to others? And how do I experience myself?
Relationships and intimacy: Working with recurring patterns in our closest attachments, difficulties with trust and closeness, fear of rejection or abandonment, and the ways our early experiences can shape our intimate self in the present.
LGBTQIA+ experiences: As a therapist with lived queer experience, I understand the impact of minority stress, loneliness, rejection, and challenges in intimacy. We work towards developing a more cohesive, robust and accepting sense of self.
Qualifications
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Training in Adult Psychotherapy - The Conversational Model of Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy (ANZAP, Australia & NZ Association of Psychotherapy)
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​Introduction to Psychotherapy (The Ashburn Clinic)
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EFT Externship Couples therapist
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Bachelor of Arts (Indigenous Studies), University of Auckland
Men’s relationships, sexuality and life transitions: Men’s experiences of intimacy, sexuality, emotional expression, identity, relationships and the hurdles that emerge through different stages and transitions in life.
Depression, anxiety and trauma: Understanding the deeper emotional resonance of depression, anxiety and traumatic experiences. How do we process loneliness, shame, self-criticism, emptiness, and emotional overwhelm? Finding relief in exploring how past experiences can continue to shape emotional life, relationships and a sense of self in the present.
Couples and intimate relationships: Helping couples understand the emotional and relational patterns that can leave partners feeling disconnected, misunderstood or caught in repetitive cycles, and supporting the development of greater understanding and connection.
Addiction and substance use: Exploring the emotional, psychological and relational experiences underlying problematic substance use, while developing a compassionate understanding of what these patterns may be expressing or protecting against.
Dissociation and experiences of disconnection: Working with experiences of feeling detached from oneself, one’s emotions, body or surroundings, and gradually developing a greater sense of continuity, emotional connection and integration.
Grief, loss and significant life changes Processing and containing the emotional impact of loss and major transitions, including the ways grief can affect identity, relationships, belonging and one’s sense of the future.